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Emotions are processed in the mind but they also occur throughout our bodies as well. Strong emotional reactions often manifest in physical ways: a red face, angry gestures and tense body language. We know that words have weight, but these physical displays alone are sometimes enough to sour and even derail negotiations. They can quickly turn productive dialogue into an endless argument.
When these emotions take over our rational thinking suffers, and these physical manifestations start to appear. The focus of the conversation shifts back into the past, to debate and fault and blame. This prevents our rational selves from looking toward the future and a sustainable solution that meets all of the parties’ needs.
The goal for a mediator then is identify the triggers that bring forth these emotions and remove them from the negotiation as quickly as possible. Here are 4 simple steps to help parties return to their rational bodies and put the mediation back on track.
- Separate the parties. Take a break in separate caucus rooms, starting with the strongest emotional body first.
- Listen and reflect on the meanings that triggered the emotional body and acknowledge their impact. Keep at this until the rational body has taken back control.
- Re-establish commitment to dialogue and the future where solutions are to be found.
- Assess and repeat as required for the other party(s).
It’s impossible to fully control our emotions when we’re engaged in conflict, especially when the stakes our high. These simple steps are an excellent starting point for getting the mediation back on track towards a lasting and equitable solution.
For more information about these Steps or assistance with difficult negotiations contact:
[email protected]
403-801-0234